A Thousand Years of Blackness: New Approaches To Immigration Reform

Disclaimer: As per this blog post, this is a parody of Chuck Norris's hysterical "Thousand Years of Darkness" plea for right wingers to get out and vote against President (Re-elected!!!) Obama. In his video he ranted about the coming death of "freedom" in America. As a result, I have started a series of blogs that seek to rub it into Conservatives' faces when one of their misguided, cherished "freedoms" are lost, or when a new idea proposes to take those "freedoms" away. This blog post, thus, highlights a LA Times editorial that proposes a law to take away one of those "freedoms": the freedom to live in an America without a bunch of scary brown Mexican people. Boo friggin' hoo.

From the Los Angeles Times:

A third way on immigration

Instead of deportation or amnesty, the U.S. should adopt legalization without citizenship.

The debate over U.S. immigration policy has been rebooted. There now appears to be bipartisan support for what's generally called comprehensive reform. But a stumbling block remains: What to do about the estimated 11 million illegal immigrants among us. Deportation? Complete amnesty? A "path" to citizenship?

There is a way forward, and it can be best summarized by "none of the above." It lies, instead, between these choices. It's legalization without citizenship .

With as few conditions and as broadly as possible, we should offer undocumented immigrants status as "permanent noncitizen residents." Unlike current green card holders, these individuals would never have the option of naturalizing and becoming U.S. citizens. The only exception would be for minors who arrived here with their parents. Provided they have not committed any serious crimes, such individuals should be immediately eligible for citizenship.

Simplicity is one distinct virtue of this approach. The prospect of mass deportations (or the hope of mass self-deportations) is both unpalatable and impractical. And establishing and implementing a complicated pathway to citizenship — or even to a lesser legal status — requires more faith than most Americans have in our government's ability to administer programs effectively and fairly.

Granted, I have mixed feelings on immigration. Mexico has harsher immigration laws than we do. But the issue of Mexican immigrants, in particular, makes Conservatives' blood boil. So I say bring 'em in. Instead of attacking Mexican immigrants, we should be busting employers who exploit illegal immigrants and making examples of them so other employers straighten up their act. Businesses do in fact hire illegals to squeeze American workers out of jobs, cut corners on workplace safety, and lower wages. The way to handle that is to punish the businesses, not the workers. I'm not entirely sure if I want to implement any "permanent non-citizen status" for immigrants - they should all have a path to citizenship, in my opinion. But this law is driving Conservatives NUTS. So it's worth rubbing their noses into it!

Now, what is the Free Republic saying about this? The typical hysterical nonsense. Mexicans are destroying our culture, blah blah blah. Take a look if you want to laugh:

These unhinged idiots wouldn't mind if we were importing more Austrians or White Anglo-Saxon Protestants, of course.

Hear that, right wingers? That's the sound of your misguided concept of "liberty" dying... bone up on your Spanish, LOL!